“Honesty is the best policy”
How many times have you heard this phrase? From elementary school, it is drilled in our heads, to be honest at all costs. But have you heard of the phrase, “ anything in excess is bad”? Well, good habits like honesty can be bad when excessively executed.
You know, you never call a blind person blind! What’s wrong in saying, “hey blind man, how are you?” you’re not lying, you’re just being honest and telling the truth. Do you know what’s wrong here? You’re sentimentally wrong, sometimes you do not need to state the obvious.
Being brutally honest is nothing but dismissing the emotions and pain attached to that “truth”. In fact, brutally honest people often try to mask their insensitivity by claiming to be honest. It just shows how low on empathy you are.
Let’s understand how being brutally honest can hurt the people around you, especially your relationship…
Brutal Honesty vs Loving Honesty
Honestly is a very essential part of any relationship. Honesty is an important component that helps you build trust in your relationship. It makes you feel safe and comfortable with your partner. However, do you know what ruins it? Brutal honesty!
Loving honesty and brutal honesty are poles apart. Being honest and being insensitive in the name of honesty are two different things. Brutal honesty is when you try to cover your insensitive, cruel comments and judgment under the name of being “real” or “honest”.
Loving honesty is when your honesty helps your partner grow. You point out their mistakes but don’t ridicule them. You do not use their vulnerability to prove your point. You choose growth-promoting honesty rather than dwelling on being brutally honest even when you know you’ll hurt your partner.
Why Is Brutal Honesty In Relationships a Red Flag?
Let me state a fact “if you have a brutally honest partner, that’s a red flag!” Your partner is gaslighting you in the name of honesty! You should be mindful when in a relationship, please keep a note of all red, yellow, orange, and green flags!
It’s your responsibility to protect yourself especially when you’re planning to invest emotionally in a relationship. Having a brutally honest partner can be hurtful and their comments and judgments can directly attack your self-esteem.
Being real and honest doesn’t mean you disregard someone’s emotions. Brutally honest people either fail to understand how harsh their comments are or smartly use this narcissistic trait or superiority complex in the name of honesty.
Having a brutally honest partner is equivalent to having an emotionally abusive partner. They make you feel bad about yourself and how saint of a person they are to be living with a flawed person like you. Such behavior can deeply impact your mental peace and threaten your emotional stability. And that’s exactly what you do not want from your partner!
What to Do When you Have A Brutally Honest Partner?
We cannot certainly tell what makes an individual brutally honest but there is one thing for sure, they’ve faced it too. The most common reason for someone to become brutally honest is that they have been brought up by brutally honest parents. Therefore, they fail to realize how toxic this behavior is.
This makes it possible for their hurtful brutal honesty to be unintentional. In that case, you need to be very honest with your partner about how their comments and brutal honesty make you feel. Your feedback can help them improve and be mindful of their comments.
If brutal honesty is an unintentional trait, I’m sure your partner will take your feedback positively and make an effort to not let their habit ruin your relationship. However, if your partner refuses to understand how their brutal honesty is affecting the relationship, it’ll soon turn into emotional abuse.
Being honest with your partner about how you feel, at this point, is the only solution. It takes two to make or break a relationship. Give your partner a chance to improve themselves and know when to walk out of that relationship.
That’s All Folks!
I hope you found this blog about how brutal honesty in a relationship can be a red flag helpful, interesting, and thought-provoking. Do share this blog with your friends and family because it’s important to differentiate between brutal honesty and loving honesty.
Also, you should know what’s making your relationship toxic and when is it time to leave!
Thanks for reading.
Take care and stay safe.