Happiness is something that we all want and deserve. It is a feeling of joy, satisfaction, and well-being that makes life worth living. But sometimes, we may find ourselves waiting for happiness to come to us. We may think that we will be happy when we achieve a certain goal, when we meet the right person, when we have more money, or when we solve our problems. .
As someone who has struggled with mental health issues, I know first-hand how easy it can be to fall into this trap of waiting for life to start and for happiness to come our way. I think for a lot of my life I coasted along on auto pilot thinking I had to put up with the life I was given. It took me returning to adult education for me to realize the truth and that was I actually had full control of my life and future and I could make into whatever I wanted it to be.
Why Do We Wait For Happiness?
It’s interesting for me nowadays because I get the chance to help others find their happiness and you’d be amazed to know just how many people think happiness is for other people and not for them.
A lot of it comes from them doubting themselves and thinking they don’t deserve to be happy…. which then as a result leads to them stopping trying.
They also put huge expectations on themselves thinking they need “A”, “B” and “C” to happen before they can relax. Those expectations 9 times out of 10 are completely unrealistic so when they don’t achieve them it reinforces their belief that they are not good enough…. It’s not because of their lack of ability, though, but because they are asking too much of themselves.
I try to challenge this by explaining that ,happiness doesn’t always have to be so rigid and unreachable and that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing… Yes we can want for more but that doesn’t mean we can’t be appreciative of what we have in the moment.
Another common reason is that us humans unfortunately have a tendency to compare ourselves ourselves with others…. We look at other people’s lives and think that they are happier, more successful, more attractive and more fortunate than us.
Making these assumptions is not only unhealthy but more often than not those assumptions are not even based in reality. On the surface some people might come across that they have it all but in reality we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. We don’t see their struggles, their flaws, their regrets, or their insecurities and it’s just another way of making us focus on what we don’t have instead of what we do.
What Can We Do To Start Being Happy And Living In the Moment?
The absolute first step is to take full responsibility for our life. Stop blaming others, circumstances, or fate for our situations. Stop making excuses for why we can’t do something or why we haven’t achieved something. Stop giving away power and control to external factors. Instead, acknowledge that we are the creators of our reality, and we have the ability to change.
Be honest too… accept that happiness is not a constant state of bliss that never fades or changes; happiness comes and goes depending on various factors. Accept that happiness does not mean having everything we want and nothing we don’t want; it requires appreciating what we have and making the best of what we don’t have.
This honesty and clarity should ,help you understand who you are and what you want in life…. If you need extra help try asking yourself the following questions
What kind of life do you want to live?
What are your goals, dreams, and passions?
What are your values, beliefs, and standards?
What are your strengths, skills, and talents?
What are your challenges, weaknesses, and fears?
What are your motivations, reasons, and purposes?
When you have a clear picture of what you want start putting a plan together. Set yourself some goals and how you’re going to achieve them and make a commitment to yourself that you are going to stay on this path and keep moving forward despite any obstacles that may be in your way…. Never lose vision of your goals or why you’re doing this.
It’s really important that you ,stay positive on your journey as well because there will be challenges and set backs you’ll have to deal with. But the more focused and driven you are and the closer you get to your goals the more you’ll start to notice the changes in your mindset, and that will help you to keep going on your journey.
I hope you all see that happiness can be a choice, and that you all have the power to make it happen….. Not next week, but now….. today
I hope you enjoyed the blog and found it useful.
I would love to hear from you, so feel free to leave your comments, questions and feedback below